Whats a Mom To Do?

What's a mom to do? Ever thought about that question?  I mean, REALLY thought about it?

What I am to do as a MOM is to take care of my kids.  The Lord has entrusted these little bodies to me to take care of.  I do not own them.  They are on loan from the Lord to me, to take care of, until He calls them home.  They belong to HIM.  They were His before they were mine.  They were His before I ever even knew that I wanted them.  

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. Psalm 139:13

WOW!!  Now talk about amazing!!!!!!!  He KNEW long before I longed for my babies, just when He would give them to me.  He knew what they would look like.  He knew how many babies I would have.  He knew everything about them.  And he chose ME as their mom.

Ever thought about just how amazing that is?  He created these beings, and he hand picked me to take care of them.  He knew long before I ever thought about having my first baby, that he would be special.  He knew that I would have a special job being a mom to a kid with diabetes.  He knew it would be tough.  He knew that there were going to be days that were HARD to get through.  He knew that I would have struggles and trials and battles.  But, He KNEW I could handle it.  He KNOWS I can handle it.  He KNOWS because He IS MY GOD!!  

I had a few days this week that were really rough.  Some of those days that I felt like I am the worst mom in the world.  I mean, why not feel that way?  After all, what mom goes through each and every day telling their child to check this and check that; or, "did you do what you were suppose to??" , or, my favorite, "Did you eat??"  Yes, I have had to ask that.  Its not a DUH question--well, wait..maybe it is?  Idk..but...still...there are some questions that are just 'normal every day questions.'  

Throughout MY days, 'normal every day questions' consist of: "Did you check your blood?", "Did you figure your carbs?", "Did you bolus for your food?????"...

THAT is MY normal day.  I'm tired of explaining that.  I'm tired of expecting people to understand, b/c no matter how many times I say it, ppl are NOT going to understand.  However, they could try to make an effort to understand.  I actually have some awesome people in my life who DO understand.  They understand what its like as a mom to see their child go through each and every day having to be reminded to do certain things.  Certain things that if they don't get done, their can and will be serious consequences.  

So, that all being said...I am the mother of a child with diabetes.  I have played that role for 10 years now.  I will do EVERYTHING in my power as his mom, to take care of him.  If that means asking him repeatedly the questions that I mentioned above, so be it.  If that means hovering over him, so be it.  I'm not going to sit around and let him blow off doing things that must be done to take care of himself.  I will NOT.  I refuse to let him sit back, ignore the things he knows he must do to get through every single day.  

I was beating myself up 3 days ago and telling myself that I am a bad mom, and that I must be the worst mom their is. But, here's the thing..if I am such a bad mom, then how is it that my son has made it through the last TEN years?  How is it that my son has NEVER had to be in the hospital--not even ONE time, since his diabetes dx's??  He's been sick a few times, but that has been minimal.  Its because I have chose to educate myself as much as I can--with the help of that amazing information super highway--the internet! 

I reminded myself of these things.  And I was informed by my husband, my two closest friends and my daddy that I am NOT a bad mom!  Sometimes ya just need to hear it!!

Thank you to those people--I really needed to hear those words!

Father God,

Thank you for allowing me the chance to be a mom.  And thank you for entrusting 

Colton to me.  While I know that I have days that are miserable and I scream and cry out to you, Why me?  Why my son?  Please help me to remember that its not up to me to ask Why?  What is up to me, is to take care of him while he is here on this earth.  Its up to me to make sure he does all the tasks he must do to get through each day.  Thank you for giving me the sources to educate myself as well as others that may come in contact with him.  Thank you for the other moms who have kids with diabetes, that you've placed directly into my life, or that you have allowed me to cross paths with--to encourage them along the road that they have ahead of them.  Thank you for giving me the strength to get up and tackle this each and every day.  Lord I ask that you would just speak to Colton and just break his heart.  I know that he is angry and depressed about his health.  He hates it and I see that hatred in his eyes.  He needs to let you into his heart, and as well as to learn to completely trust in you.  I know that once He allows you into his heart that his attitude about many things will change.  He's got to see that he needs you.   Thank you for the hedge of protection that you've placed around him so far--Kyle and I are so very thankful that he's not ever had to be hospitalized for any reason since learning of the diabetes.

Thank you for allowing us to be his parents.  In Jesus Name, Amen!