Thorns

Ever think about how many different kinds of plants have thorns?  Obviously, roses and cacti are probably what comes to mind the quickest.  We have some sort of trees on our property that has really pretty flowers that bloom every spring.  I have NO idea what they are.  We've got yellow squash growing in our garden and those vines tend to have some sort of little spiky pokey things.  OUCH.

I hate thorns.  Big or small.  Big and fat or short and very thin-like a sliver. 

But the biggest thorn that I absolutely LOATHE...is...Diabetes. Its a thorn in my backside and it has been for 11 years.  11 long years.  Just doesn't seem like its been that long.

Tonight was a rough night.  It was time to change infusion sites again.  Last one was a few days ago, when we had a big mishap with the new infusions we are trying.  Ended up being a huge problem because the canula got messed up--thats a tiny plastic tube that the insulin comes out of and into his system.   I was up at 4:30 Saturday morning changing his infusion again, because his glucose was just under 500.

Not something you want to worry about getting up and doing when you've finally gotten some sleep after laying in bed WIDE awake for hours upon hours.  

Tonight was a bit of dejavu as well--because we went through the same stuff every three nights when he first got the pump, that we went through tonight.  Its a 'game'.  Its a mind game.  He tells himself he can't do this and he refuses to give in and just go for it.  

"Whats the big deal?"  "Just put the site on for him.  Its not that simple.  Here's why: Because he is 14--FOURTEEN. Because we have been dealing with this disease for 11 years.  Because its time for him to 'man up' and be RESPONSIBLE FOR HIMSELF. 

Now, the reason I said it was like dejavu was because we went through this VERY same thing when he started the pump. He couldnt do his site changes then--and I honestly didnt blame him for not wanting to.  In fact, I myself refused to change his site for him.  Kyle had to do it.  The infusions and serter he used back in 2005..that thing was EVIL.  PURE evil. I hated that thing.  Finally we were introduced to the Sure T.  Thats what he is currently using.,  It took him a year to be able to put that one on himself.

I will give him credit--he did finally manage to put a MIO on last night.  But it took TWO hours for him to do so.  TWO HOURS.  He can  not sit there and put it off that long.  Its a no brainer--if he's unhooked from his pump, that means NO insulin is flowin through him.  

Thorns...sharp prickley pokey stinkin thorns.  T1D(type 1 diabetes) is a HUGE thorn in my side.  It has been for 11 years.  And its going to be for many more years.  But that doesn't mean I have to like it.   And I don't like it.  I hate it.  Most of you who have known me for any length of time, know that Im pretty blunt in my feelings for this disease.  

Its a thorn that I would much rather it didnt even exist.