Where does time go and why does it pass so quickly? It seems sometimes, like it was only yesterday that I was in high school, or better yet, that it was my SR year. How the heck did that come and go so fast?
It seems like only yesterday that I was hanging out at my grandma's house, and if I wasnt there, I was at my granny's house. It seems like only yesterday that I was moving out of my parents house and getting my own apartment. It seems like only yesterday, that my family visited my grandmother in the hospital, as her health was quickly failing. It seems like only yesterday, that I got the call she was gone. It seems like only yesterday that I was starting a new job and had NO clue that I would be meeting the man that I was going to marry. And that in itself was bittersweet for me. I met Kyle just 6 months after my grandma passed away. She never got to see me get married. She never got so see my babies--at least not on this earth. I had a dream before I finally found out that I was pregnant with Colton. It was just as real as it could have been. My grandma was in the dream. And sitting next to her, on a porch swing, was a cute little blonde hair blue eyed little boy. I have no doubt in my mind, that was Colton. =)
It seems like only yesterday, that our world was turned upside down. Why? Because in 2000, my sweet little boy was taken away from me, in a sense. While he was not taken away from me, as in removed from my home, his innocence, his sweet nature, his personality--they were all taken away from me and replaced with an angry little boy. He, as I tend to put it, was forced to grow up way too fast. And that was not a choice that I myself or that Kyle made. Colton made a lot of that choice on his own, b/c he wanted to do things by himself. 10 1/2 years ago our world was torn upside down and crumbled up in little pieces when we learned of his diabetes. Its not as easy to deal with as some may think. Take a 2 year old, that you've been trying to potty train and it be absolutely impossible. Not because he didnt understsand, or 'get' what he was supposes to do. But because I could take him to the bathroom and by the time I walked from the bathroom to the living room, he'd already completely soaked his clothes--his diaper was THAT full.
It seems like only yesterday that I was having to hold him down to stick his finger to test his blood sugar. It seems like only yesterday that I was reading nutritianal information on food labels and learning how to figure out how many carbs he was eating and how much insulin he needed to cover that food. It seems like only yesterday that all he would eat was either chicken nuggets, or hot dogs. And NOW, TODAY..he eats me out of house and home. And he marvels at the fact that he, if he wants to, can eat more than his dad.
It seems like only yesterday that I was mad and I was angry and I was frustrated. Why? Because I didnt want to put a second child through all the heartache of diabetes. I didnt want to have to put another child or myself through all of what we'd gone through with Colton. It just wasnt fair to me, to watch him grow up and learn so much at such a young age. But, it seems like only yesterday that my heart was aching and longing for another child. That longing turned into a year, and then two, and then three, and so on. While I wanted another child, I did NOT want that ugly monster I call diabetes, into my life again.
It seems like only yesterday that I got on my knees and I begged the Lord, "WHY!?" "Father, why is it that I have not gotten pregnant? Why do I have to continue to hear about all these other babies that are coming, or that are being born? Why Why Why? And it seems like only yesterday, that through the tears and heartache, that I gave in and said, "Lord, if this is what you want; if you want us to have another child with diabetes--if I have to go down that road again, so be it." Just a few weeks later, I learned I was pregnant! SIX LONG years I waited for my baby girl.
It seems like only yesterday, that my little girl with auburn colored hair(just like her great granny's), and big blue eyes, was welcomed into this world. It seems like only yesterday, that I was lying in a hospital bed after having her, via emergancy c-section, that the room that I was in, was filled with people And I mean it was FULL--standing room only! It seems like only yesterday, that little baby girl, was 2 weeks old, and meeting her great grandmother for the first time. And it seems like only yesterday that we were telling my granny good-bye. Our family knew that our time left with her was not going to be much longer. I prayed that the Lord would allow her to see her last great grandbaby. When she saw Tobi for the first time, she thought it was me! Tobi was just 8 months old when my granny passed away. That too, seems like only yesterday.
It seems like only yesterday......as you can see, that phrase comes to mind a lot. Thats why I say that time goes by so quickly. I can remember when I was my daughters age. Where did all of that time go?? Am I really 37? Yup, I just pinched myself and Im not dreaming. Im really that old. And while that may not seem or sound old to some, to others its a life time.
Dont take for granted the things that you have. The people that are in your life. The Lord puts them there for a reason. Whether its for a day, or a week, or a few months or even years. Make the most of your time with the ones you love. Because one day its going to be........yesterday.
No comments:
Post a Comment