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Thursday, March 19, 2015

To School....or Unschool Its Your Choice

   




 I remember the day I told my husband I wanted to home school our kids one day.  We weren't even married yet!!!  I told him that if we ever had kids, I always liked the idea of keeping our kids at home.  I remember being pleasantly surprised because he was actually ok with the idea.  For whatever reason, it just kinda shocked me that he agreed to it.  

 It would be 3 years into our marriage before we even welcomed our first bundle of joy into the world!  I constantly mentioned to friends and family that I would one day home school.  I got support from some, others balked at the idea.    And then, when my son was 4 weeks from turning 3, he was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.  I truly felt like that was God's way of telling me, "keep him at home with you!"  You see, I was already planning on enrolling him at the local preschool program that so many of the young moms in our town were taking their kids to. 

I just couldn't bear the thought of sending him to a place where I had to rely on and teach others to give him his insulin shots.  It was already enough of a shock to his world as it was to have his mom and dad hold him down on a daily basis just to stick his finger and give him that life saving shot he must get either right before or just after he ate a meal.  There was just no way I was going to put him through any more unnecessary trauma.  

And so, in August of 2000, I began my journey in the world of home school.  I gathered anything and everything I could.  I was so excited about being my son's teacher!  I went to Mardel and combed through curriculum and workbooks.  I will admit it was a bit overwhelming--b/c there IS so much out there.  I also still had some comments made that hurt and made me a little angry over all.  "Home school is just dumb!"  "You can't shelter your kids their whole life!"  "Why would anyone want to keep their kids at home instead of sending them to public school?"  Those comments in and of themselves, DROVE me to want to home school even more.  

And so it began.  I started teaching him his ABC's, 123's, he already knew all his colors-I started teaching him those at a very young age already.   He learned how to write his name quickly and I moved on to teaching him to write EACH letter of the alphabet.  He was reading, on his own, by the time he was 4.  

I continued to homeschool my son until he was about 8 years old.  And by that time, I my daughter was a year old.  I wanted a 'break' so to speak from home school and I wanted him to see what public school was like, and I wanted to have that same one on one time with my daughter that I had with him when he was that small.  I remmeber asking my mother, "Am I just a horrible mother for wanting to spend some time with just her??"  Her responce? "Of course not!  She deserves that same time with you as he had with you!"  

Between October of '07-'08 my son attended public school.  I took him before hand and had him 'tested' via the school counselor.  She did various things with him and he basically tested WAY above his age and grade level we were doing at home(which was 5th grade).  His reading level was at a 12th grade level!!!  However, they said that even though his scores were so high academically, they said maturity wise, he would do best starting out in the public school system at the 4th grade level.  And so, thats what we did.  And boy did we get grief for a couple of years from him for 'holding him back.'  Thankfully, that grief passed and it doesn't bother him now.  

Our next venture with homeschooling, went from various curriculums we purchased, to opting to try virtual school, online.   That was interesting.  I liked it, thought it was very cool.  I liked it so much that I went from just my son doing the virtual school, that I also enrolled my daughter in the virtual world of schooling as well.  However, I didn't realize, it just never dawned on me, that the virtual school was PUBLIC SCHOOL online at home.  And that, for whatever reason, made me sick.  I was literally nauseated!!  I didn't want my kids anywhere near the public school system.  

And so, I pulled them.  I pulled my kids from one of the, what I would say is the simplist form of school that they could get.  As a mom, it was fabulous because I mainly had to make sure they logged on and did their daily work.  They had a schedule all set up for their daily lessons.  I dind't plan any of it.  Most of the work was graded as soon as it was completed.  Other work, was done, and uploaded for a teacher to grade it.  Teacher? Online school has teachers?  YES!  The ONLY difference between virtual school and public school?  Brick and mortor building vs the comfort of your own living room.   Whatever was being done in the PS for each of their grade levels, is what they were doing at home.

As of today, at this moment, neither of my kids are enrolled in virtual school.  I had thought about re-enrolling my 9 year old in K-12 again, but those thoughts are quickly diminishing.  My 17 year old, wants nothing to do with virtual school, or public school.  And I can't say that I blame him.  I mean SERIOUSLY!!!  We made the choice to HOME SCHOOL.  That means keeping our kids AT HOME.  And yet, another choice has come into play for our family now.  

I have watched both of my kids struggle with whatever curriculum we purchase; and I've seen them struggle with different lessons online.  I've seen them get upset because they don't understand a math problem.  I've seen my son SWEAR to me he uploaded an assignment and yet the 'teacher' online didn't have it.  (Can't really use the excuse that the dog ate it if its typed up on computer and then uploaded now can you?).  I've watched my daughter with tear filled eyes as she says "Mamma I can't remember how to multiply! I don't understand it!!"

And I am done.  I am done fighting and arguing over what the public school system states that my children MUST learn by the time they are 18.  I am tired of thinking I have to make sure my son completes a Chemistry course, or Geomotry, etc.  I'm tired of hearing, "Why do I have to learn all this anyhow?  I don't want to nor do I plan to go to college!!"  

I'm tired of seeing the frustration in my 9 year olds face, and watching, again, as tears well up in her eyes, because she is having a hard time understanding rounding to 10's, 50's and 100's.  Im tired of watching her struggle as she tries to add  a math problem, and she tries to hide the fact that she is using her fingers to count, to help her come up with the answer.   She shouldn't be afraid to use her fingers to count!!!  And why is she afraid to use her fingers to count?    I took her to Kumon here in town about a year ago and I had her tested to see what grade level she is on.  She tested right around her age/grade level for reading and her math score was so low, they said she needed to go back to doing first grade math!!!   Not only did they tell me this, but they told me IN FRONT OF HER,  "well she still uses her fingers when she counts..."( So what lady!!!  Guess what, Im 42 and I still do the same thing if I feel the need to!!! )  To hear this person tell me this, crushed my daughter's spirit.  I could see it in her face!!!  And its been a huge struggle since that day to get her motivated to do ANY math!!

That day may have been a blessing in disguise essentially though.   Since that day, I have struggled some what with what I need to do.  I do not want my kids in public school.  My son has been there and he's been at home, and he's done the virtual thing.  Virtual school, still means public school, it still means mandatory state testing.  And for what?  I HATED those tests as a kid.  They make those who don't score well feel stupid.  I never had great scores on those tests and I always felt like that meant I was stupid.  

I have seen the term Unschool for a long time.  And I finally started 'researching' it.  And the more I read, the more I thought to myself, "this is what we've basically been doing for weeks now!"


I know that a lot of people don't understand why people home school.  I know that a lot of people DO understand why some choose to home school.  And I also know that home schooling is becoming more and more what parents choose for their kids.  Some choose traditional home school methods.  Some choose electic, some choose to do the virtual schools like K-12.  And there are those who choose to Unschool.  And that, essentailly is what we have been doing.  

The last several months for my kids have been interesting to say the least.  I have struggled with the fact that they may not be 'learning' what the  system states they must learn.  My 9 year old has learned MORE in the last year, raising a rabbit and learning to crochet, and baking than she learned the previous year in K12!!!  My son, has learned more in the last  year than most kids do for the simple fact that he works, full time on a farm!  And they are just as happy as can be!    There's less fighting--dont get me wrong, there are still arguments in our house.  But the lack of fighting about school work--what is done and how its done and if its been graded or turned in--its just not a daily fight that I miss!! And I know my kids don't miss it.  If my 9 year old could sit and draw, and paint all day long, she would be happy as a lark to do just that!

And so, our family, is one of those families who UNSCHOOLS.   My grandmother, was one of my biggest supporters from day one of me home schooling.  The last couple of years that she was still alive, she battled Alzheimers.  She use to ask me what grade my son was in and what school he went to.  I would say, "I home school remember?" And her eyes would light up and she would say, "Good for you!!  Thats the BEST education he can get!"  I'd like to think she's looking down on them now, and be just as proud of them, and what they've accomplished at each of their ages, at home, as what she was with me when I went to public school. 

I remember the struggles I had myself in school.  I hated school.  I went because I "HAD" to go.  I like my son, knew I didn't really want to go to college.  I kicked around the idea some, but that was mainly because my friends were all going.   Would I have been better off to have gone to college? Maybe.  Maybe not.   I've seen lots of people who have gone to school for this degree or that, and they STILL don't have 'enough education' for what they are majoring for.  

I would rather my kids, learn from real life experiences as they have been, than to force them to sit in a classroom for hours every single day, bored out of their gourd.  And essentially, they've already experienced that boredom as it is.  They were both bored with the virtual school as it was.  That was a huge reason in itself to pull them.  

You DO have a choice to send your kids to school, or to keep them at home. You DO have a choice in what they learn, and how they learn it.  If you've EVER contemplated home schooling? Go for it!  




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